To Social Addicts, with Love

Disclaimer:
All instances mentioned in this post are based on real people (whom I have met in the journey of my life) and there is nothing fictional about it. This post is not for those of you who are die-hard fans of networking and are living your lives through the much talked about web pages on the Internet. If you know how to live your life with a pinch of salt and can manage to look at its farcical aspects then you can enjoy the pricks and thorns attached with this post albeit in a good humor – Read, compare and laugh at yourself!

Dear Faceple & Tweeple,

Hope you are enjoying the dynamic life of your metaphysical electronic world and sharing some very insightful thoughts with its not-so-connected real section. I have always admired the unceasing enthusiasm with which you live and spread your infectious effervescence while clocking the time.

From past few days I have not being feeling well and I blame it all on you. With your unfading energy and much happening life my enthusiasm and optimism levels seems to have fallen below the quintessential mark and hence it’s now that I have decided to pour out some of my precious and highly confidential thoughts before you.

I have often wondered about the almost mass hysterical impact created by certain sudden phenomenal things in life. It seems as though we have all been born on earth with a single minded dedication to endorse that thing and eat, sleep and drink it with every passing moment of our life.

Few days back I was asked by a very dear friend of mine, via an email, if I was enjoying a good health or not. After my assurance that I was hale and hearty I became curious to know what made him worry about my health and his plain and unpretentious reply came as “You have not been active on Facebook for a while so I was wondering if you have fallen sick!”.

Someone had once said that the world is shrinking, but who knew that the wide network of webs will act as catalyst in further hastening this process. There are millions of websites on Internet today and now almost every tom-dick-harry can boast of a web page belonging to him and her!

I was under the impression that social networking sites were meant for connecting with our friends and keeping the concept of “keep-in-touch” alive in a less formal manner. But I was hopelessly wrong. My silly brain did not know that these websites are more casual form of “Aaj Tak” and need reporting of everything I do or think in my day – or I would be categorized as either orthodox, introvert, antisocial or a distasteful combination of all.

In your world one’s degree of affability is measured against how many friends you have on Facebook or how many people are following you on Twitter, whether you actually possess a charming personality with a pleasant demeanor is of course entirely immaterial. Suddenly the whole equation of relationships gets changed measured by your status on these websites. If you are seeing someone but are projected as single on Facebook, then it is only a matter of time when your love life would either get exposed to the world through some highly excited (read: bean spiller!) friend of yours or it would succumb to its natural death due to your inability to accept it in the public (so would your partner feel).

Don’t you dare think that this networking bug has infected only our social life. While Facebook and Twitter rule the roost in our social circles the corporate world isn’t far from being sabotaged. LinkedIn has opened up platform for people to display their professional credentials, achievements and aspirations in full public glare. For centuries what was considered personal and confidential is now being flaunted with a dash of arrogance. This website also allows you to massage your ego by showing off the recommendations from your colleagues, clients and bosses! Whether you are actually hard worker with passion to learn new things and are also focused and detailed oriented is again reduced to the puny status. Your recruiters are happy as long as their senses are cajoled with your recommendations oozing perfection (read: manipulations).

Some nincompoops are so smitten by social media that a day or two away from these would certainly put them on life saving ventilators. At times it becomes difficult to figure out whether people are actually dumb or are simply unaware of the absence of other people’s interest in their life. How else would you explain situations where they blurt out every single thought cropping up in their minds or slap every picture of their holidays and vacations on our face! I don’t care whether you went to Honolulu or Bermuda triangle with your girlfriend or bought a sexy dress at discounted price from DFO or had a new hair cut. How on earth would your home grown tomatoes or garden peas stir up my soul when a picture of your latest tequila shots in some glitzy pub could not invigorate my mind to say the least?

It is quite amusing when people report every breath that they take on such websites and then cry foul about the privacy issues haunting them. Gone are the good old days when mails or even emails formed the basis for exchanging pleasantries and a phone call would just be a gratifying event. If you have not wished your friends on their birthdays, anniversaries, promotions and weddings on these sites then you certainly don’t care for them! So what if you wished them in person, a public display of affection is a must to reaffirm your continuity in that relationship.

How much is too much is yet to be defined for majority of us especially for the class of people who aren’t yet clear about the boundaries of networking and bombarding!

While I am confident that the population from my part of the world would continue to drift towards your part, I am also hoping that few crazy souls from your world would get some sanity into their heads and join our side of the world to echo my sentiments and prevent the concept of real from blurring into surreal.

Look forward to hear from you soon (not immediately).

Yours Sincerely,
Reaple (Real People)

Still the same…

Why do people ask me not to behave like a child anymore, when most of the things which I did in my childhood are still my favorite...when the smell of Maggie still melts in my mouth...when the thought of drinking plain white milk still makes me nauseating...when going to school/work is still an excitement for me...when dark clouds and drops of rain still drench my heart with rejuvenation and instill a new hope for tomorrow...when eating gajar-ka-halwa still seems nothing short of a punishment to me...when I still fight with my little brother but stand by him when someone else rebukes him....when sitting on the swings in parks still exhilarates my mind and makes me feel as though air is whispering freedom in my ear… when serials like I Dream of Jeanie and Small Wonder still make me glued to my television screen…when the festival of Holi still abodes in my heart and pumps up excitement in my mind with its vibrancy of colours, good food and dash of mischief all around…

So what if now my bag is filled with Lakme, Revlon and Maybelline instead of Camel, Natraj and Crayons...so what if now I enjoy reading Cosmopolitan, Filmfare and India Today instead of Champak, Nancy drew and Famous five series...so what if now I love my stilettos, boots and pencil heels instead of ked, strappy flat sandals and shoes with light and music...so what if now my shoulder hangs designer, fashionable and branded bags instead of backpacks and cross shoulder school bags....so what if my favorite possessions in my room are my laptop, cell phone and CD collections instead of Barbie dolls and kitchen sets...so what if the glass filled with milk and bournvita has got replaced with shots of tequila and lime in my hand….so what if my skirts have become shorter and hair has grown longer…so what if now I have to blend the roles of a wife and a daughter-in-law with those of a daughter, sister, friend and a professional… so what if my hands now hold a pen to create and narrate storylines instead of scribbling answers in examinations…

I am still the same girl who loved holding hands of her mom and dad and chatter with them non-stop…I am still the same girl who loved listening to stories before falling asleep….I am still the same girl who devoured salty and spicy food much more than sweets and sugary items….I am still the same girl who enjoyed quarreling with her siblings…I am still the same girl who loved wearing her sister’s clothes and perfumes and lecturing her little brother...I am still the same girl whose face would lit up with the thought of spending hours together in her big backyard garden to pluck vegetables and flowers for her mom…I am still the same girl for whom the joy of eating bhindi, baigan and capsicum is more agreeable than sinking her teeth in chicken, mutton and fish cuisines… I am still the same girl who gazed endlessly at the twinkling stars in the sky figuring out constellations and wondering if she would ever go beyond Orion, Great Bear and Scorpio….I am still the same girl who had dreams in her eyes and who thought that someday she would make a difference in this world with her ideas!

IPL Discoveries - Cricketing Tharoor Vs Tweetering Modi!

The IPL 2010 series has been doling out high doses of thrilling moments in the lives of cricket lovers from all over the world. With its on-field smashing performances and uncertainty of the results, IPL matches have arrested the undivided attention of cricket buffs and hooked them on to the most gripping, high profile, fast buck churning event in the history of sports. With controversies burgeoning out of IPL series each year, the sensation quotient never seems to take a dip!

Off the field, IPL is scoring equally high on titillating factor – Two mild bomb blasts in Bangalore and formation of two new teams for the 2011 series have kept the interest and focus of people, in this king of entertainment, entirely intact. Adding on to this sensation is the sordid word of war between IPL founder Lalit Modi and Shashi Tharoor, the tech-savvy twittering politician of modern India. While the war has gone far beyond the arena of tweets, into a state of utter clutter, it has also sparked up tales of foul play, match fixing and mud slinging between the various parties closely or remotely connected to cricket!

Modi and Tharoor, each have collected some brownie points for doing their bit in their associated fields. While Modi has redefined the concept of cricket by fathering one of the most glamorous, extravagant and thrill flicks of our times, Tharoor has modernized the face of Indian politician with his suave looks, immaculate English, articulate demeanor, accessible approach and display of a taste for connectivity with our tech savvy aam-junta. Both had brought along with them a change, which was resisted, protested and then gladly accepted by the critics. Bringing them together again, is the current controversy, which puts them at loggerhead with each other seemingly assuring of delving some nasty details about their unseen aspects. Whatever is the outcome of this slander, IPL has highlighted one trend, which is to stay here for sometime – Internet Social Networking.

For those of you, who believe in sharing the ins and outs of your life with the rest of the world, it wouldn't be a surprise to know that the root cause for this entire controversy was mooted through the platform of Twitter! Ah so much for being socially hyperactive internet buffs.

It is quite amusing the way certain information was tweeted on this social networking site and then replied back between these two celebrities. I often wonder, had Twitter not existed in the first place, how would have these celebs lived their moments of glory, agony and dullness? One thing, which stands out tall amidst such mayhem, is that with the overzealous social networking sites, media is getting deprived of uncovering scandals and ignominy which was its forte once upon a time. Facebook, Orkut and Twitter have made “living life, publicly” a style statement. Every tom-dick-harry wants to share what he thought, ate, felt, wore, saw in each moment of his life including burping and farting. With movie stars, politicians and sports champions joining the bandwagon, twittering/scrapping/posting has become only more contemporary and upbeat. Whether it’s Shilpa Shetty asking for what she should be wearing for her next show or Yuvraj Singh applauding his fellow cricketer for his brilliant performance or Rajdeep Sardesai commenting on the recent news updates of our country, all have resorted to the mesmerism of these networking sites.

The Kochi team franchise has dragged many names in the IPL controversy making it one of the worst hit scams in the cricket history. Shashi Tharoor's personal relationships have been tossed around in public by the media while Lalit Modi's sudden wealth amassment and extravagant lifestyle have come under the I-T scrutiny. Tharoor versus Modi saga would soon come to an end and the twittering cricket paramours would know who is neck deep in s**t and who come out with clean chit. One is a politician and the other is a rich influential man, so it would be quite interesting to know who weighs heavier in this tug-of-war. Ironically even during such animosity Modi and Tharoor share the commonality of "B-factor" bête-noire with Modi being sacked by the BCCI and Tharoor being stripped off his portfolio on the ruckus created by BJP! Both the men have lost their power and kingdom on which they were thriving… solidarity of fate?!?! The war which burgeoned from Twitter and involved just Modi and Tharoor has now engulfed the politics and cricket board of India, the two most murky, bureaucratic and lucrative systems of our land. 

So what if IPL still continues of rake big moolah even today, its prime attraction for our people would always be the numerous scandals, which get simmered in it each year. This year in particular has been a tumultuous year for IPL with its creator being dethroned followed by Sachin’s team’s debacle in the IPL finals. Unlike the earlier champions, Rajasthan Royals and Deccan Chargers, who had swept away victory in all matches played till the finals, Mumbai Indian’s became a fiasco, which fell flat right in the final match! Media is abuzz with talks of the unexpected new IPL champions with some murmurs of match-fixing, result rigging et al.

Three years of glory has turned Indian Premier League into a Midas touch, which promises to shoot you into fame, albeit good or bad is not guaranteed by it. Dhoni leading his team to winning trophy has once again reaffirmed his exuberance and panache of being the most successful Indian captain. With the finals of IPL 2010 coming to an end, cricket fever might have began to subside, but sacking of Lalit Modi by BCCI has further generated enough heat to keep the show going on.

All we now have to do is to stay glued on to our television sets and watch the fate of the man who built the most entrancing empire in the world of cricket. While I write this line I get sudden flashes of Ramalingam Raju’s face in my mind and the unnatural comparison between the two now appears very natural to me. We have to wait for the verdict to be out to see if Modi trails in the footsteps of Satyam’s founder or comes out clean to lash back at BCCI. In the meantime, IPL kept its side of promise of sensation by revealing the twittering mania in Modi and cricketing fever in Tharoor! Long live the grandeur of IPL and infectious ramification of Twitter.

Gay and Happy? Think again.

Our country took a historic step last year, when the High Court legalized homosexuality by decriminalizing section 377 of the Indian Penal Code. It was a joyous occasion for a small section of people in our country, many of who celebrated their happiness by getting into wedlock with their same gender partner. For a while I thought finally India is moving closer to total liberation and coming out of age on issues like this, which were swept under the carpet till recently. I was wrong.

The age-old saying of “Gay and Happy” has become redundant in India, even though our system is trying to keep pace with the ever-changing ethos and cultures of the world.

Once again axe of an archaic and irrelevant stance has chopped off the pride of a middle-aged man of India, a common man. While what transpired with this man is not unique in any manner in a country, where social dogmas have almost always got the better in all kinds of circumstances, it is quite disheartening to see that orders of even the high seat of justice are not conformed to in our land. Dr Shrinivas Ramchandra Siras, reader and chairman of Modern Indian Languages at Aligarh Muslim University, has been recently suspended for being gay.

What a way to honor a man who has served one of the most prestigious varsities of our country, especially while the professor was nearing his retirement.

My brain is still unable to comprehend the reason for his suspension. When the High Court of India has legalized homosexuality, I wonder what new logic or rule has AMU come out with, to justify its act. The professor’s suspension would have been logical had he been posing harm to the students of the university or elsewhere. However surprisingly, there is no such claim made by the AMU authorities, who have taken the legal baton in their hands.

The professor might be guilty in his personal life of cheating on his wife, but I have never come across any college or organization, which suspends its employee for practicing infidelity.

Is he being punished for being gay or for hiding his sexual preferences from the AMU authorities?

It is quite understandable that each university or organization has its own culture and legacy, which are lived and carried forward by the people associated with it. AMU is no different, except that its culture over powers the law of the country. How else can the AMU authorities explain the reason given by them for expelling the professor? If anybody should be feeling raw about the whole episode, it should be the professor. It was his privacy, which was breached by the students group and reduced to a mere piece of headline in newspapers. It was his fundamental right to choose and practice his sexual preference, which was awarded the status of a crime by the AMU authorities. Verdict is quite clear on who is the victim and who is the criminal here.

Eccentricity comes along with a price tag and this time it has costed Dr. Shrinivas his job laced with humiliation. The bunch of students who donned skin of a bull and breached into the privacy of their professor and took videos of the professor’s love making session with his partner, sure wanted to play Sherlock Holmes. Albeit this time their motive surpassed the sensibilities of a common man’s logic.

This issue goes beyond the case of Professor and AMU. This issue has again raised the question of sexual preferences, and the individual right to exercise it in India.

India might have passed a law on homosexuality just a year ago but the world history is replete with cases of people who have strayed away from the accepted norms of society and yet contributed heavily in the various fields of art, literature, sports, politics and so on. Elton John, George Michael, Martina Navratilova, Leonardo da Vinci, Michael Angelo, Alexander The Great are just a few names which have defined excellence in their respective fields. The list is long and strong enough to prove that sexual preferences do not bear any consequences on the talent of an individual in any manner in any field. Irony of this man's (professor) life is that while he was chairing the MODERN Indian Languages in one of the most prestigious universities, he has been thrashed by an ANCIENT belief.

AMU is punishing the professor for exercising his fundamental rights, which is a criminal act in itself. We, as a nation, have been fed so much on sensationalism that it has covered our emotions in incoherent apathy towards the mundane aspects of being a human being. With the professor having resigned to his fate, only time can unfurl the course of events in this case.

Its time when we realize that mincing progressive words and slogans is not going to put India on the pedestal of success and growth but aligning our thoughts with our words and metamorphosing them into actions is what our nation needs. A comprehensive walk towards more liberated and benevolent environment is a long pending and more pragmatic approach, which should be followed by our people who are frozen in time. Is AMU listening?

Ishq KAMEENA! Censor KAMEENI?

Enough is one word, which this lass has not found in her version of dictionary. Or maybe she has got it surgically removed from the dictionary, while undergoing one herself. Bold, beautiful and totally bohemian. This girl has always spoken her mind (even if that meant gibberish?!?!?!). The thought of right or wrong has probably never bothered her as much as not being in limelight would have strained her brain. She shares a love-all relationship with the media. While the media loves her for providing them with juicy details every now and then, she loves the media for keeping her in the main headlines (Trust me folks, this particular news was flashed on the front page of ToI online edition). Come on, you should have guessed he name by now. The mother of all controversies – Rakhi Sawant!

Be it dancing her way through the controversies or been kissed through the controversies, Rakhi has done it all. She has added a new feather to her cap by taking punga, this time with the censor board. She has allegedly created ballyhoo over censor board’s running a scissor over the usage of word “kameeni” in her forthcoming album titled Jhagda. I must say, what a title and what a word to fight for. Who else can manage to come out with such names, which are provocative and not up to the snuff, other than our Queen of item numbers? Guess, when it comes to Ms. Sawant, all becomes fair! Looks like using foul languages and slangs have become the latest fad in the Indian film industry, and Rakhi definitely does not wish to remain untouched by it. Nevertheless, this time Rakhi Sawant has blamed the censor board for meting out step motherly treatment to her, by censoring the word “Kameeni” in her music album, while letting go the biggies of bollywood, even though they have been using similar words in the past. Ms. Sawant has even given censor board committee a week’s time to lift the ban, after which she would sit on a bhook hadtal.

Non-violence at it’s best, I must say. Gandhiji must have never thought that his tools would be so rampantly used in the modern Indian from netas to the celebs, albeit for frivolous issues.

If we divert our attention from the affectations of this great éclat, it would be quite interesting to note that Rakhi Sawant is actually (surprisingly) posing a right question to the censor board. Startling that it may sound, the recent success (both critical and commercial) of “Kaminey” movie does make one wonder if the censor board is being biased. Censor board equally enjoyed the movie, while permitting the usage of a slang word as a title. We have literally lived our childhoods listening to the famous dialogue of Dharmendra “Kaminey main tera khoon pee jaung”. Never have we heard censor board running its scissor on such dialogues or titles. So what is the big deal about Rakhi Sawant using the same word in her song? Lets see, what plausible reasons can censor board come up with, to justify its stand.

a)     Kameeni is more derogatory than Kaminey – Is it because it addresses to fairer section of our society? If that’s true, then what about the numerous “Ma..Bahen..” gaalis being mouthed in the Indian cinemas, more often now than before?

b)    Rakhi Sawant using that word is more derogatory – She still is better than our ex-PM Mr. H.D. Deve Gowda who verbally raped B.S. Yeddyurappa after one parliamentary session, just few days ago.

c)     WTF!!!! Rakhi paid us to censor that word – You know why  :) .. Birth of a new controversy.

Knowing Rakhi Sawant, it is not difficult to gesticulate that her album would be centrally and peripherally revolving around titillating and sensuous acts.

So be it. Censor board has not objected to those things. Whatever be the reason behind this new drama, do you think it is high time that censor board becomes more transparent in its functioning, and less prejudice towards the low brows of the filmdom? Or do you think that Rakhi Sawant is barking up the wrong tree by putting up this fight?

IPL - India Pakistan Ladaai?

While the whole world has been complaining about the change in climate due to global warming, it is hard for me to not notice the very obvious change in the seasons of India. In our country, we celebrate four main seasons with zest – winter, summer, rainy and spring. However, past two years, this festivity has embraced a new season. A season of cricket. A season of IPL. The India Premier League has caught many eyeballs since its days of inception and continues to drive the world of sports, into a historic frenzy each year. IPL gave birth to another star in the galaxy of cricket, albeit not on the field but off the field. Lalit Modi – The founder of Indian Premier League.

In its maiden year (2008), IPL embarked upon its journey with a debate on whether the 20-20 pattern is a flash in a pan or a long lasting phenomenon. In the ensuing year, it kicked off a row of arguments when its venue was shifted from India to South Africa. Despite public apprehensions, IPL managed to generate highest TRPs amongst all other sports at that time and catapulted the status of IPL ceremonies only second to Olympics. It continued to grow bigger and better each time. Glamour and fortune have surrendered themselves to the feet and fate of IPL. It wouldn’t be wrong to call IPL, a controversies’ child. No wonder, even amidst many controversies the popularity of IPL has not seen a dip. As they say, any publicity is a good publicity. And so the IPL enters into its third year. With this month seeing the auctioning of players, the controversies have again draped IPL 3 in it.

The latest news to rock the auctioning procedure of IPL is the total outcaste of Pakistani players. While all the eight IPL teams have lapped up the best players for themselves, none showed interest in bidding for a single Pak player. Media is abuzz with gamut of reasons behind this news. Be it straining Indo-Pak ties, an embargo by the Indian government or a mutual seclusion of Pak players by the IPL franchisees, speculations are rife.

With zillions of money and security of nation on stake, the Indian government and the IPL organizers appear in no mood to take risks, if there are any risks at all. There are too many arguments for and against this move, and it is almost a herculean task to justify any side with little or no information on it. The whole episode appears very tacky when one looks at the past attitude (initiation and tolerance) of India over Pakistan. However even the Indian government has very little options to choose from when Pakistan believes in non-cooperation tactics. With the recent terror attacks on India, the government has to be extra vigilant to ensure such tragedies do not hit the lives of millions of innocent people. The stance may be harsh this time, but sometimes harshness acts better than friendliness, especially when one’s own people are in danger.

I know.. I know.. common man of both these countries wants peace! But, hello! How would peace prevail when so much of hatred and fanaticism is blinding the visions of deciding powers? Anyway, before I digress into politics once again, let me focus back on the IPL.

If rumors are to be believed then the cable operators in Pakistan might boycott telecast of the IPL matches this year. An act of solidarity, fair enough! I am not even surprised at this rumor. Tit-for-tat has been their age-old technique. Grow up!

Had the Pakistani players being included in the IPL teams, no dramatic progress would have been achieved on the India-Pak relationship. When sixty years of efforts from our various governments couldn’t thaw the ice between the nations at loggerheads, I wonder what good this little inclusion would have done? Maybe, it might have not added more bitterness to the already dissolving ties. But who can guarantee that? I am not writing this blog to justify the acts of IPL bodies or the Indian government. I only intend to enjoy IPL 3. Right or wrong, good or bad, IPL still promises to enthrall its viewers like in the past. We all had thought, that shifting of IPL to South Africa would significantly reduce the viewership of IPL in India, but to everyone surprise, the enthusiasm was way beyond the IPL season 1. Haven’t we heard that everything is fair in love and war? This however is Cricket ;)

I am just being an optimist fan this time as well. Pak or no Pak, IPL season is bound to cause hysteria across the length and breadth of the nation. Like all other times, IPL 3 promises of more fun, more excitement, more glamour and more surprises in the months to come. So while the two nations indulge themselves in further ego clashes, being a cricket fan I am looking forward for a spectacular and undeniable adventure saga. Let the game begin roger err.. Modi :) 


...and yes!.. keep watching this space for more updates on the IPL 3 grapevines :D

the Good, the Bad and the Ugly!

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. ~William James


I couldn't have agreed more with this thought, than now. Twenty days of procrastination and wrestling with gravity from hundreds of feet above the tiny dots and blocks, could also not make it happen. It happened when boredom got the better of procrastination and jostled the writer out of my New Zealand hangover. So here is the outcome. A mix of fun and pun for you!


Moments of shocks, seconds of sadness, minutes of laughter, hours of smiles and days of emotions! Human being is a unique specie who is known for its expressions of emotions. It is quite amusing how our brain identifies certain things with certain images and tunes our emotions towards them accordingly. And, if the human being in front of us is a politician then he/she is bound to evoke one or the other form of emotion within us…!


Love them or hate them, but you can’t ignore them. Indian politicians have an indelible impact on the minds of millions of their countrymen. These politicians are often known for their unique traits and idiosyncrasies, many of which have been spoken and written about in media, time and again. But ever wondered what will happen if these politicians had to endorse different brands and products for our aam junta ? Who knows, apart from experiencing the usual fits of laughter maybe the Indian film industry could also get lucky and get its new onscreen sensation ……


Well, well, well! Let’s take a quick look at who would fit into what brand, if the politics and advertising alliance were ever to happen.


1. Peter England – The Honest shirt!
He is suave and perceptive and the most non-political prime minister of India till date. The current PM of India and the architect of the modern Indian economic framework, Manmohan Singh is quite known for his Squeaky Clean image and Honesty even in these days. He would totally justify the punch line of Peter England – The Honest Shirt! Like PE shirts, Manmohan Singh has also made truth fashionable, albeit in Indian politics.


2. MTV - Some People Just Don't Get It
Better known for his humor and looks, Laloo Prasad Yadav stands unbeaten as the brand ambassador for MTV channel. His wacky statements and bold approaches have often left Indian public in splits. Everything about him is hatke. Laloo displays the flavor of MTV in the best of his forms. He changed the fate of Indian railways and made it profitable like how he turned his public image from mercenary corrupt politician to a funny man of Indian politics. If it is loud and grungy evocation of aggressive spirit, it is MTV or it is Laloo Prasad Yadav. Both think they are cool. Both think they are the voice of India. (Both don't get it!). While all that both manage to do is rant about themselves, day in and day out! So, Lalooji, you rightfully deserve to endorse the MTV brand for our aam junta.


3. J K Tyre – Total Control
This politician is the best example of tenacity and breaking efficiency on the highly rugged roads of Indian politics. Soniya Gandhi - Italy born Indian politician, who has managed to not only survive but also rule the rooster of the present Indian politics. Like J K tyres, she exercises Total Control over the Congress party and the UPA government. Can you find a better brand ambassador than her?


4. Tata Tea – Jago Re!
This is one politician who bags Tata tea advertisement assignment unrivalled. His love for sleep has transcended the decorum of the coveted seats of Indian political arena. He has churned out more news due to his undying passion for sleep than his work as a politician. He made lethargy and foul language synonymous with the Indian politics. Need I say more? No prizes for guessing this septuagenarian’s name - HD Deve Gowda. Very conveniently he blames stress as the reason for hurling abuses and frequent dozing off in public. Tata Tea would not be able to find a better harbinger than Deve Gowda, albeit as an ideal target audience for this ad due to his acts - a la Kumbhkarn! He needs awakening from his apathy towards people who have elected him. So, Mr Gowda, please have a cuppa of Tata Tea every morning and do what you have been elected for doing – transform lives!


5. Nokia - Connecting People,  Pepsi - Yeh hai Youngistan Meri Jaan
Versatile, dynamic, a people's person, rejuvenator of Indian politics and an apostle of strong India, young India. He has pumped hope in the hearts of millions of Indians and bound them under a belief of "Young India is the progressing India". Rahul Gandhi is the name, which instantly crops up in the mind when one hears words like integrating with people and young India. He comfortably dons the hat of a common man to share his sorrows and instill in him optimism for the future. His charming words have motivated the youth, pan India. He has managed to establish himself as the next generations political hope of our country. Truly wearing his attitude on his sleeves, Rahul Gandhi reflects the spirits of Nokia and Pepsi. Do we have any other politician to match his enigmatic charisma? Do I hear none?


6. Surf Excel - Daag Achche Hote Hai!
If Paradox is her first name, uncouth is her middle name. She placed herself as a paladin of the lower caste and down trodden people in the Indian politics. But no sooner than later, she amassed wealth worth million of rupees. She is one amongst the highest IT paying politicians of our country. She belongs to a breed of "Been there, done that" politicians. You think of a scam in the decade gone by and bam she is associated with it. Mayawati, the Behenji of Indian Politics is a recurrent participant of numerous flimflams and seldom practitioner of serving nation. She imbibes the slogan of surf excel to the core - Daag Achche Hote Hai - No wonder she is valiantly marching towards eating away people's money and blissfully enjoying her daag each time. It’s amazing to see how shamelessly she denies the allegations leveled against her every single time. Mayawati is definitely the best choice of sample for Surf Excel to showcase its cleansing might. Go Surf Excel, Go!


7. Horlicks – Taller, Stronger, Sharper
There are a few names, which I am able to associate with the Horlicks drink, but one-name blocks my vision entirely (and literally too!). When it comes to growth (of any kind), this single person beats one and all. Be it physically, materialistically or in the power game, this politician has grown astronomically taller, stronger and sharper. Enjoying the adulations of both the film world and politics, she has ascertained her position as a dominating power monger politician who cannot be ignored. Jayalalithaa Jayaram or simply Amma – the actor politico of Tamil Nadu. From being a paramour of MGR she has grown to become the goddess of Tamil Nadu. Her haughty demeanor and arrogant attitude have only multiplied with time. Metamorphosing from a slim, glamorous actress into portly body and an elephantine stature, she comes out as the perfect choice for promoting the Taller, Stronger and Sharper qualities of Horlicks.


Good, bad or ugly, brands and politicians are mushrooming with equal zest in our country. I wonder what we are witnessing now is bad or ugly? The chances of it being good is bleak and scary too. Nevertheless I am confident that this saga will keep evolving with time and provide platform for some more ludicrous moments of political whimsy to the aam junta.Till then let's enjoy this tale with our good, bad and ugly politicians.


Oh, btw, Happy New Year to all :)